The whole flying thing..
"I will not let my fears control my life." That has been my mantra ever since I've been afraid of flying. That's not to say it actually works, but that is what I'm working on. Come Monday morning, I will fly to Kansas City (yes, I will!) and enjoy a wonderful international professional conference.
I am very fortunate that I had a colleague fight for me to be able to do this, and all I can think about is how I am afraid to fly. It will be great once I get there, but OMG!!
I have no idea where it all started. I'm sure a psychologist could help me figure it out, but I tried that once to no avail. I tried the whole "desensitization" thing, only to be caught in a violent snow storm during my first "practice flight." So, I'm in the Columbus, OH, airport and I was panicking to a degree that I called my friend Deb and said, "I am not getting back on that plane and who will feed my kitties while I drive 400 miles?" I ended up screaming into the pay phone at the pharmacist who dared to ask "why would you want to take more than is prescribed?" and who finally acquiesced "you can take up to six." Once I got home, I changed psychiatrists...to someone who would not laugh in my face about my (irrational) fear, and someone who would prescribe stronger meds. Xanax has been a Godsend.
So, yes, Monday morning I will take a cab to GSO and fly to IAD to MCI. And in September I am blessed to fly to LEJ with my friend Deb to visit my family and see the Oberammergau Passionsspiel. More to come on that later. The nice thing about Xanax is that I can stay half-way alert and functioning (including speaking foreign languages..."Est-ce qu'il-y-a du pain? anyone?").
For the moment, I give in. Maybe one day I will be able to fly fear-free, perhaps even my own plane. In the meantime I do what it takes to get by. And thanks to my friend Lisa, I will enjoy a VIP Lounge on the way.
- I am privileged to meet with folks from Germany, Hong Kong, Australia, the UK, Sweden, the Netherlands and Spain.
- I am privileged to enjoy a hotel room with a single room, pool, exercise room and rotating restaurant.
I am very fortunate that I had a colleague fight for me to be able to do this, and all I can think about is how I am afraid to fly. It will be great once I get there, but OMG!!
I have no idea where it all started. I'm sure a psychologist could help me figure it out, but I tried that once to no avail. I tried the whole "desensitization" thing, only to be caught in a violent snow storm during my first "practice flight." So, I'm in the Columbus, OH, airport and I was panicking to a degree that I called my friend Deb and said, "I am not getting back on that plane and who will feed my kitties while I drive 400 miles?" I ended up screaming into the pay phone at the pharmacist who dared to ask "why would you want to take more than is prescribed?" and who finally acquiesced "you can take up to six." Once I got home, I changed psychiatrists...to someone who would not laugh in my face about my (irrational) fear, and someone who would prescribe stronger meds. Xanax has been a Godsend.
So, yes, Monday morning I will take a cab to GSO and fly to IAD to MCI. And in September I am blessed to fly to LEJ with my friend Deb to visit my family and see the Oberammergau Passionsspiel. More to come on that later. The nice thing about Xanax is that I can stay half-way alert and functioning (including speaking foreign languages..."Est-ce qu'il-y-a du pain? anyone?").
For the moment, I give in. Maybe one day I will be able to fly fear-free, perhaps even my own plane. In the meantime I do what it takes to get by. And thanks to my friend Lisa, I will enjoy a VIP Lounge on the way.
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