Silence

This year, I plan to do something new each month. Something I've never done before. This month, it was to participate in an unstructured silent retreat at the Well of Mercy, about an hour west of Winston-Salem. I left Thursday morning at 9 and returned after lunch (and a visit to the Amish store nearby) on Saturday.
 
The Silence
If you're wondering, 'did she speak?,' I will respond by saying "I spoke 21 words on Friday. Only when spoken to (in one or two-word answers) or when asking for help ('Is there a prayer service tonight?'). (That's more than 21 words already.)  I would go 4-5 hours (between meals) without a single sound, not even humming a song. And I spent lunch on Saturday at a table with five women, and did not say a word."

"In quietness and trust is your strength." Isaiah 30:15

I know I could have gone the entire weekend without speaking, but it being my first time, I did not know how to tell the staff of my intent. When I arrived, I was hugged by Sister Bridgett, one of the two resident nuns, and when faced with warmth and hospitality, and people asking how I was doing, I simply did not know how to respond in silence. During the mealtime prayers we introduced ourselves. Again, I did not know how to stay silent, so I simply said my name. But during the evening prayer, the group sang, and I did not join. On Saturday morning I found the "Thank you for honoring my silence" buttons. Yes! I finally could nod and smile silently when it came time to introduce myself. And I could be in fellowship, hug and smile - in silence.

It was incredible. For someone who speaks, advises, trains, presents and teaches for a living, and sings in two choirs in her spare time, it was a tremendous relief to be quiet.

The Place
The Well of Mercy is a set of three houses and two cottages in the middle of nowhere. It is down 3 dirt roads near Harmony, NC, and set on 100 acres of raw forest. I stayed in one of the two Cottages, comfortable mobile homes that were furnished simply, yet had everything one needed (kitchen, bath, bedroom and living space). Meals were prepared for the guests, and I ate most of them in my room. For two full days I used no TV, computer, internet, phones or music. And there was absolutely no conversation.

The Peace
Each day, I walked along the creek, the trails spotted with benches for rest and reflection. I saw a deer on the first day, and enjoyed the babbling brook, the chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves by the squirrels. I also slept, but not as much as I would have thought. I spent about an hour each day in the Chapel.

"They will turn to the Lord, and He will respond to their pleas and heal them." Isaiah 19:22

Most of my time was spent reading and studying the Book of Isaiah. I accomplished my goal of reading all of it - in small chunks, flipping back and using two study guides to make sense of it, and tie together its meaning.

The Word
If you know me well, you know that I have experienced some ups and downs these past six months, and I expect that there will be more to come before May 31. In my reading of Isaiah, I was reminded that God will comfort and sustain us. He chose His people Israel, but He also asked the Messiah to be a light for the Gentiles (42:6) (i.e. non-Israel people). Therefore, He chose me, too. And will sustain me.

"So do not fear, for I am with you." Isaiah 41:10

At the end, I felt rested, healed and strengthened. And I know I am okay, because I am able to return to the arms of friends who love and cherish me.

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My goal for February? Pick a weekend to observe a "Silent Saturday" (no technology, no talking) and read the Book of Acts. I think I can do it. And I think I would enjoy it.

I also plan to return to the Well. Change is coming, and with it some sadness, but I know I can go to this place and be renewed and uplifted.

Praise be unto Him who delivers His people; who comforts them, and makes them whole.

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." Isaiah 40:31