On Kindness
Life comes in waves. I don't care for it. After four months of random loss and cruel sadness things are finally looking up for me, but I would have preferred to live without the pain. "You need the hurt to appreciate the good times," you say? Whatever. Shut up. I am not talking to you.
I drive a rather old car: a 1999 Mazda Protege. I like it. It's a stick. It runs well. And I own it outright. When the "check engine light" came on a while ago I didn't think much of it until I realized it would not pass inspection unless it was fixed. Three visits to the mechanic and several hundred dollars later I pouted and gave up. Whatever: light was on, tags and registration expired, but I had driven hundreds of miles in three states well within the speed limit (alright, fine, no more than single digits above the speed limit) and had never gotten pulled. And I had a friend whose tags had been expired for over a year and he had never gotten in trouble. So there. I would save my money and just not worry about it.
Until one wonderful day at the end of December after a lovely shopping spree/lunch at Saffron's with my best girl Melinda...I was pulled by a cop less than a mile from my house. Shit. Guy walks up to my car and explains my tags are well expired. "Yes, sir, I have a check-engine light problem, and haven't been able to get it fixed." Let's be real: I work 8 to 5, just like the mechanics, and I don't have a significant other who can take me places. It's hard to take a car in for fixing over and over again, only to drive it 40 miles (hoping the sensor will clear) and the light coming on again. He asks me to hang tight. I text Mel the issue...she responds "fudge." I am not in the mood for dessert.
After talking to Mel in the car behind him (!), the cop finally came back and asked if I wanted to hear the good or the bad news first. I scoffed and said, either way. He said "well, the good news is that there is no bad news. I'm going to let you off with a warning. Just get it fixed. And I told your friend she was responsible to make sure you do." I told him he was very kind to do this. And happy New Year.
Two days later I was pulled again, this time by a State Trooper, on my way home after dinner with a friend. Again, a warning. I felt blessed. It was the holidays and my (newly recommended, awesome) mechanic could not see me until the new year. The part he originally replaced did not fix the issue, but he assured me he would not keep charging me to test and replace other things. (My old shop put a mass airflow sensor for a Toyota in my Mazda. I have the part. I am waiting to grow some balls before I ask for my $120 back.)
Two kinds cops, two kind coworkers and a kind friend (taking me to the shop and to work) later, my mechanic discovers a cut in the break hose. Power breaks about to fail. $26 part. No charge for labor.
Three more kind friends keep me from having to drive (illegally): one came over to hang out, so I didn't have to drive to Burlington; one picked me up at the apartment to chill on New Year's Eve and one drove to the restaurant after church, so I didn't have to. Kind friends are the best. I swear.
I take the car back for an inspection a few days later (the light finally remaining off) and the mechanic replaces a light bulb and does the inspection - on the house. A kind mechanic. What a rare breed.
So what does it all mean? I honestly don't know. I don't pretend to understand the larger patterns in my life. And this pattern, this much kindness in such a short amount of time by so many different people was both refreshing and overwhelming. I still feel like I didn't deserve it. And I still wonder what brought it on...the time of year? Something in the air? Who knows. I suppose I am just expected to enjoy it and move on. I'd prefer be able to explain it.
But maybe that's not how it works.
I drive a rather old car: a 1999 Mazda Protege. I like it. It's a stick. It runs well. And I own it outright. When the "check engine light" came on a while ago I didn't think much of it until I realized it would not pass inspection unless it was fixed. Three visits to the mechanic and several hundred dollars later I pouted and gave up. Whatever: light was on, tags and registration expired, but I had driven hundreds of miles in three states well within the speed limit (alright, fine, no more than single digits above the speed limit) and had never gotten pulled. And I had a friend whose tags had been expired for over a year and he had never gotten in trouble. So there. I would save my money and just not worry about it.
Until one wonderful day at the end of December after a lovely shopping spree/lunch at Saffron's with my best girl Melinda...I was pulled by a cop less than a mile from my house. Shit. Guy walks up to my car and explains my tags are well expired. "Yes, sir, I have a check-engine light problem, and haven't been able to get it fixed." Let's be real: I work 8 to 5, just like the mechanics, and I don't have a significant other who can take me places. It's hard to take a car in for fixing over and over again, only to drive it 40 miles (hoping the sensor will clear) and the light coming on again. He asks me to hang tight. I text Mel the issue...she responds "fudge." I am not in the mood for dessert.
After talking to Mel in the car behind him (!), the cop finally came back and asked if I wanted to hear the good or the bad news first. I scoffed and said, either way. He said "well, the good news is that there is no bad news. I'm going to let you off with a warning. Just get it fixed. And I told your friend she was responsible to make sure you do." I told him he was very kind to do this. And happy New Year.
Two days later I was pulled again, this time by a State Trooper, on my way home after dinner with a friend. Again, a warning. I felt blessed. It was the holidays and my (newly recommended, awesome) mechanic could not see me until the new year. The part he originally replaced did not fix the issue, but he assured me he would not keep charging me to test and replace other things. (My old shop put a mass airflow sensor for a Toyota in my Mazda. I have the part. I am waiting to grow some balls before I ask for my $120 back.)
Two kinds cops, two kind coworkers and a kind friend (taking me to the shop and to work) later, my mechanic discovers a cut in the break hose. Power breaks about to fail. $26 part. No charge for labor.
Three more kind friends keep me from having to drive (illegally): one came over to hang out, so I didn't have to drive to Burlington; one picked me up at the apartment to chill on New Year's Eve and one drove to the restaurant after church, so I didn't have to. Kind friends are the best. I swear.
I take the car back for an inspection a few days later (the light finally remaining off) and the mechanic replaces a light bulb and does the inspection - on the house. A kind mechanic. What a rare breed.
So what does it all mean? I honestly don't know. I don't pretend to understand the larger patterns in my life. And this pattern, this much kindness in such a short amount of time by so many different people was both refreshing and overwhelming. I still feel like I didn't deserve it. And I still wonder what brought it on...the time of year? Something in the air? Who knows. I suppose I am just expected to enjoy it and move on. I'd prefer be able to explain it.
But maybe that's not how it works.
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