- Step 1: Be hired for a position that includes teaching at an institution willing to sponsor for Green Card (GC), pay approximately $10,000 in legal and filing fees and accept my working 20 hours per week during a 6-8 month period of GC processing after H-1B expires (Done: 2/10/12)
- Step 2: File for change of employer on H-1B; pass prevailing wage test at DOL, reclaim days outside US (Done: H-1B Approved until 7/17/12 - 3/1/12)
- Step 3: Apply for and gain admission to a graduate program - (Done: 5/10/12)
- Step 4: File for Adjustment of Status to F-1 (Done: Filed 5/18/12) - now wait 2.5 months for processing. If processing is not completed by July 17, leave US to apply for a F-1 visa abroad.
- Step 5: File for Permanent Residency - this is the complicated one: my current job had to be re-posted for 30 days nationally so we can file under 'special handling;' recruiting has been completed (which means, since I still have a job, they didn’t find anyone better). The Notice of intent to file for the PERM was posted on May 8, 2012 and will come down on May 21. Then we have to wait 30 days (I have absolutely no idea why). Then they get to file the PERM.
- Step 6: Receive notice of GC approval/denial - Current processing time: 4 months. Adjudication? October/November if all goes smoothly.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Permanent Residency? - Update
In case you're interested where things stand with the whole Permanent Residency process. Remember - all of this started in January...
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Written From a Place of Hope & Love
I
am going to say this, and then I am going to chill out. For the first time since I joined facebook, I used the word "fuck" in a
status update. More specifically, I said "
In time, just as many did following the abominable era of slavery, the shameful mistreatment of women and the tumultuous days of Jim Crow and segregation, my fellow Christians who would seek to strip away my rights, my dignity and my humanity, will come to understand the errors of their ways. They will look back in shock; they will wonder why they said what they said, why they promoted division and hatred, why they voted to harm others. They will tell their children and grandchildren of the time when the world was a more hostile, less welcoming place. They will impart wisdom, borne from a personal experience wherein they themselves inflicted pain on others and learned lessons only that may teach. And, humanity will be better and stronger for it.
The gay men and women in my life are
So, my vote is for love. And I believe they should write an amendment for that.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
True Story
The other day at work, I squatted down to get something from a cabinet, and...you guessed it...my pants seam ripped from half-way on my bum all the way down to you know where. This may come in handy on some occasions, but not on that day. Thankfully, I was alone in my office when this happened. I did close the door immediately, though.
First, I thought of cover-up: jacket, scarf, graduation gown, anything. But short of a 6' round table cloth there was nothing.
Next came the frantic search for safety pins (I found one - not near enough to mend the 12" gash), the search for my travel sewing kit, which I always keep in my purse (not that particular day it turns out), the awkward walk to my coworkers office (I sort of just tucked the seam back in there and walked carefully) to look for anything useful there (nothing) and then the awkward walk back to my office. Sigh.
Turns out my inner creativity saved the day - as did a loaded stapler. Once I was done, I had two overlapping stapled seams - nothing was going to rip this baby! Years of sewing pillow cases and curtains finally paid off :)
There's something to be said for not having to walk across campus to your car at the end of the day with your bum hanging out. Just saying.
First, I thought of cover-up: jacket, scarf, graduation gown, anything. But short of a 6' round table cloth there was nothing.
Next came the frantic search for safety pins (I found one - not near enough to mend the 12" gash), the search for my travel sewing kit, which I always keep in my purse (not that particular day it turns out), the awkward walk to my coworkers office (I sort of just tucked the seam back in there and walked carefully) to look for anything useful there (nothing) and then the awkward walk back to my office. Sigh.
Turns out my inner creativity saved the day - as did a loaded stapler. Once I was done, I had two overlapping stapled seams - nothing was going to rip this baby! Years of sewing pillow cases and curtains finally paid off :)
There's something to be said for not having to walk across campus to your car at the end of the day with your bum hanging out. Just saying.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Silence
This year, I plan to do something new each month. Something I've never done before. This month, it was to participate in an unstructured silent retreat at the Well of Mercy, about an hour west of Winston-Salem. I left Thursday morning at 9 and returned after lunch (and a visit to the Amish store nearby) on Saturday.
The Silence
If you're wondering, 'did she speak?,' I will respond by saying "I spoke 21 words on Friday. Only when spoken to (in one or two-word answers) or when asking for help ('Is there a prayer service tonight?'). (That's more than 21 words already.) I would go 4-5 hours (between meals) without a single sound, not even humming a song. And I spent lunch on Saturday at a table with five women, and did not say a word."
I know I could have gone the entire weekend without speaking, but it being my first time, I did not know how to tell the staff of my intent. When I arrived, I was hugged by Sister Bridgett, one of the two resident nuns, and when faced with warmth and hospitality, and people asking how I was doing, I simply did not know how to respond in silence. During the mealtime prayers we introduced ourselves. Again, I did not know how to stay silent, so I simply said my name. But during the evening prayer, the group sang, and I did not join. On Saturday morning I found the "Thank you for honoring my silence" buttons. Yes! I finally could nod and smile silently when it came time to introduce myself. And I could be in fellowship, hug and smile - in silence.
It was incredible. For someone who speaks, advises, trains, presents and teaches for a living, and sings in two choirs in her spare time, it was a tremendous relief to be quiet.
The Place
The Well of Mercy is a set of three houses and two cottages in the middle of nowhere. It is down 3 dirt roads near Harmony, NC, and set on 100 acres of raw forest. I stayed in one of the two Cottages, comfortable mobile homes that were furnished simply, yet had everything one needed (kitchen, bath, bedroom and living space). Meals were prepared for the guests, and I ate most of them in my room. For two full days I used no TV, computer, internet, phones or music. And there was absolutely no conversation.
The Peace
Each day, I walked along the creek, the trails spotted with benches for rest and reflection. I saw a deer on the first day, and enjoyed the babbling brook, the chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves by the squirrels. I also slept, but not as much as I would have thought. I spent about an hour each day in the Chapel.
Most of my time was spent reading and studying the Book of Isaiah. I accomplished my goal of reading all of it - in small chunks, flipping back and using two study guides to make sense of it, and tie together its meaning.
The Word
If you know me well, you know that I have experienced some ups and downs these past six months, and I expect that there will be more to come before May 31. In my reading of Isaiah, I was reminded that God will comfort and sustain us. He chose His people Israel, but He also asked the Messiah to be a light for the Gentiles (42:6) (i.e. non-Israel people). Therefore, He chose me, too. And will sustain me.
At the end, I felt rested, healed and strengthened. And I know I am okay, because I am able to return to the arms of friends who love and cherish me.
-----------------------------------------
My goal for February? Pick a weekend to observe a "Silent Saturday" (no technology, no talking) and read the Book of Acts. I think I can do it. And I think I would enjoy it.
I also plan to return to the Well. Change is coming, and with it some sadness, but I know I can go to this place and be renewed and uplifted.
Praise be unto Him who delivers His people; who comforts them, and makes them whole.
The Silence
If you're wondering, 'did she speak?,' I will respond by saying "I spoke 21 words on Friday. Only when spoken to (in one or two-word answers) or when asking for help ('Is there a prayer service tonight?'). (That's more than 21 words already.) I would go 4-5 hours (between meals) without a single sound, not even humming a song. And I spent lunch on Saturday at a table with five women, and did not say a word."
"In quietness and trust is your strength." Isaiah 30:15
It was incredible. For someone who speaks, advises, trains, presents and teaches for a living, and sings in two choirs in her spare time, it was a tremendous relief to be quiet.
The Place
The Well of Mercy is a set of three houses and two cottages in the middle of nowhere. It is down 3 dirt roads near Harmony, NC, and set on 100 acres of raw forest. I stayed in one of the two Cottages, comfortable mobile homes that were furnished simply, yet had everything one needed (kitchen, bath, bedroom and living space). Meals were prepared for the guests, and I ate most of them in my room. For two full days I used no TV, computer, internet, phones or music. And there was absolutely no conversation.
The Peace
Each day, I walked along the creek, the trails spotted with benches for rest and reflection. I saw a deer on the first day, and enjoyed the babbling brook, the chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves by the squirrels. I also slept, but not as much as I would have thought. I spent about an hour each day in the Chapel.
"They will turn to the Lord, and He will respond to their pleas and heal them." Isaiah 19:22
Most of my time was spent reading and studying the Book of Isaiah. I accomplished my goal of reading all of it - in small chunks, flipping back and using two study guides to make sense of it, and tie together its meaning.
The Word
If you know me well, you know that I have experienced some ups and downs these past six months, and I expect that there will be more to come before May 31. In my reading of Isaiah, I was reminded that God will comfort and sustain us. He chose His people Israel, but He also asked the Messiah to be a light for the Gentiles (42:6) (i.e. non-Israel people). Therefore, He chose me, too. And will sustain me.
"So do not fear, for I am with you." Isaiah 41:10
At the end, I felt rested, healed and strengthened. And I know I am okay, because I am able to return to the arms of friends who love and cherish me.
-----------------------------------------
My goal for February? Pick a weekend to observe a "Silent Saturday" (no technology, no talking) and read the Book of Acts. I think I can do it. And I think I would enjoy it.
I also plan to return to the Well. Change is coming, and with it some sadness, but I know I can go to this place and be renewed and uplifted.
Praise be unto Him who delivers His people; who comforts them, and makes them whole.
"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." Isaiah 40:31
Thursday, January 19, 2012
The List
A few weeks ago, my friend Linda posted this article by Rev. Tim Keller - an excerpt from his book on marriage. It's called You Never Marry the Right Person. I guess I agree with that in general because I don't believe in the one-and-only-one soul mate. But I do believe some men are more compatible with me than others, and I just could not imagine living with someone that was fundamentally different from me. Keller says looking for that one person who will accept us and fulfill our desires in unrealistic.
I disagree. Sure: it is unhealthy to make another being responsible for ALL of your happiness. But I do think I deserve to be with someone who is tender, supportive of my goals and desires, and caring to the world around us. So yes, I do believe there is a right person for me to marry, just as there are many wrong persons.
I have a list of qualities I look for in a companion. Most people do. Or should, lest they settle for the next best guy/gal to be with. In case you don't have one, I'll give you my list to get you started. I've revised it over the years, but I know that this is what I want today:
Must-Haves in a Man
1. Funny
2. Kind
3. throw-against-the-wall-&-tear-his-clothes-off hot (not looking
for a friend here)
4. passionate about something (preferably choral music)
5. able to support himself, a normal apartment and a regular car
6. educated or intelligent or both (got to be able to talk about
more than the weather)
7. non-smoker
8. non-violent and not into hunting, Satan-worship or animal
sacrifices
9. able to (nicely) call me on my shit (a.k.a., must have balls)
10. fairly liberal
Nice-to-Haves
- good with kids/old people
- drives a normal car (not some souped-up pick-up truck)
- dresses well (I can let that go if he'll let me dress him)
- traveled
- never married/no kids
- recycles (or okay with me digging plastic bottles out of the trash)
- speaks some German
- likes cats
I disagree. Sure: it is unhealthy to make another being responsible for ALL of your happiness. But I do think I deserve to be with someone who is tender, supportive of my goals and desires, and caring to the world around us. So yes, I do believe there is a right person for me to marry, just as there are many wrong persons.
I have a list of qualities I look for in a companion. Most people do. Or should, lest they settle for the next best guy/gal to be with. In case you don't have one, I'll give you my list to get you started. I've revised it over the years, but I know that this is what I want today:
Must-Haves in a Man
1. Funny
2. Kind
3. throw-against-the-wall-&-tear-his-clothes-off hot (not looking
for a friend here)
4. passionate about something (preferably choral music)
5. able to support himself, a normal apartment and a regular car
6. educated or intelligent or both (got to be able to talk about
more than the weather)
7. non-smoker
8. non-violent and not into hunting, Satan-worship or animal
sacrifices
9. able to (nicely) call me on my shit (a.k.a., must have balls)
10. fairly liberal
Nice-to-Haves
- good with kids/old people
- drives a normal car (not some souped-up pick-up truck)
- dresses well (I can let that go if he'll let me dress him)
- traveled
- never married/no kids
- recycles (or okay with me digging plastic bottles out of the trash)
- speaks some German
- likes cats
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
On Kindness
Life comes in waves. I don't care for it. After four months of random loss and cruel sadness things are finally looking up for me, but I would have preferred to live without the pain. "You need the hurt to appreciate the good times," you say? Whatever. Shut up. I am not talking to you.
I drive a rather old car: a 1999 Mazda Protege. I like it. It's a stick. It runs well. And I own it outright. When the "check engine light" came on a while ago I didn't think much of it until I realized it would not pass inspection unless it was fixed. Three visits to the mechanic and several hundred dollars later I pouted and gave up. Whatever: light was on, tags and registration expired, but I had driven hundreds of miles in three states well within the speed limit (alright, fine, no more than single digits above the speed limit) and had never gotten pulled. And I had a friend whose tags had been expired for over a year and he had never gotten in trouble. So there. I would save my money and just not worry about it.
Until one wonderful day at the end of December after a lovely shopping spree/lunch at Saffron's with my best girl Melinda...I was pulled by a cop less than a mile from my house. Shit. Guy walks up to my car and explains my tags are well expired. "Yes, sir, I have a check-engine light problem, and haven't been able to get it fixed." Let's be real: I work 8 to 5, just like the mechanics, and I don't have a significant other who can take me places. It's hard to take a car in for fixing over and over again, only to drive it 40 miles (hoping the sensor will clear) and the light coming on again. He asks me to hang tight. I text Mel the issue...she responds "fudge." I am not in the mood for dessert.
After talking to Mel in the car behind him (!), the cop finally came back and asked if I wanted to hear the good or the bad news first. I scoffed and said, either way. He said "well, the good news is that there is no bad news. I'm going to let you off with a warning. Just get it fixed. And I told your friend she was responsible to make sure you do." I told him he was very kind to do this. And happy New Year.
Two days later I was pulled again, this time by a State Trooper, on my way home after dinner with a friend. Again, a warning. I felt blessed. It was the holidays and my (newly recommended, awesome) mechanic could not see me until the new year. The part he originally replaced did not fix the issue, but he assured me he would not keep charging me to test and replace other things. (My old shop put a mass airflow sensor for a Toyota in my Mazda. I have the part. I am waiting to grow some balls before I ask for my $120 back.)
Two kinds cops, two kind coworkers and a kind friend (taking me to the shop and to work) later, my mechanic discovers a cut in the break hose. Power breaks about to fail. $26 part. No charge for labor.
Three more kind friends keep me from having to drive (illegally): one came over to hang out, so I didn't have to drive to Burlington; one picked me up at the apartment to chill on New Year's Eve and one drove to the restaurant after church, so I didn't have to. Kind friends are the best. I swear.
I take the car back for an inspection a few days later (the light finally remaining off) and the mechanic replaces a light bulb and does the inspection - on the house. A kind mechanic. What a rare breed.
So what does it all mean? I honestly don't know. I don't pretend to understand the larger patterns in my life. And this pattern, this much kindness in such a short amount of time by so many different people was both refreshing and overwhelming. I still feel like I didn't deserve it. And I still wonder what brought it on...the time of year? Something in the air? Who knows. I suppose I am just expected to enjoy it and move on. I'd prefer be able to explain it.
But maybe that's not how it works.
I drive a rather old car: a 1999 Mazda Protege. I like it. It's a stick. It runs well. And I own it outright. When the "check engine light" came on a while ago I didn't think much of it until I realized it would not pass inspection unless it was fixed. Three visits to the mechanic and several hundred dollars later I pouted and gave up. Whatever: light was on, tags and registration expired, but I had driven hundreds of miles in three states well within the speed limit (alright, fine, no more than single digits above the speed limit) and had never gotten pulled. And I had a friend whose tags had been expired for over a year and he had never gotten in trouble. So there. I would save my money and just not worry about it.
Until one wonderful day at the end of December after a lovely shopping spree/lunch at Saffron's with my best girl Melinda...I was pulled by a cop less than a mile from my house. Shit. Guy walks up to my car and explains my tags are well expired. "Yes, sir, I have a check-engine light problem, and haven't been able to get it fixed." Let's be real: I work 8 to 5, just like the mechanics, and I don't have a significant other who can take me places. It's hard to take a car in for fixing over and over again, only to drive it 40 miles (hoping the sensor will clear) and the light coming on again. He asks me to hang tight. I text Mel the issue...she responds "fudge." I am not in the mood for dessert.
After talking to Mel in the car behind him (!), the cop finally came back and asked if I wanted to hear the good or the bad news first. I scoffed and said, either way. He said "well, the good news is that there is no bad news. I'm going to let you off with a warning. Just get it fixed. And I told your friend she was responsible to make sure you do." I told him he was very kind to do this. And happy New Year.
Two days later I was pulled again, this time by a State Trooper, on my way home after dinner with a friend. Again, a warning. I felt blessed. It was the holidays and my (newly recommended, awesome) mechanic could not see me until the new year. The part he originally replaced did not fix the issue, but he assured me he would not keep charging me to test and replace other things. (My old shop put a mass airflow sensor for a Toyota in my Mazda. I have the part. I am waiting to grow some balls before I ask for my $120 back.)
Two kinds cops, two kind coworkers and a kind friend (taking me to the shop and to work) later, my mechanic discovers a cut in the break hose. Power breaks about to fail. $26 part. No charge for labor.
Three more kind friends keep me from having to drive (illegally): one came over to hang out, so I didn't have to drive to Burlington; one picked me up at the apartment to chill on New Year's Eve and one drove to the restaurant after church, so I didn't have to. Kind friends are the best. I swear.
I take the car back for an inspection a few days later (the light finally remaining off) and the mechanic replaces a light bulb and does the inspection - on the house. A kind mechanic. What a rare breed.
So what does it all mean? I honestly don't know. I don't pretend to understand the larger patterns in my life. And this pattern, this much kindness in such a short amount of time by so many different people was both refreshing and overwhelming. I still feel like I didn't deserve it. And I still wonder what brought it on...the time of year? Something in the air? Who knows. I suppose I am just expected to enjoy it and move on. I'd prefer be able to explain it.
But maybe that's not how it works.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Firsts in 2011
Yep, the tradition continues. No need to live life as a passenger. I like to live with intention, ask for what I want and do things I've never tried before, in spite of being intimidated by or scared of them.
(1) first time singing my beloved Mendelssohn with a symphony orchestra (Midsummer Night's Dream with the Winston-Salem Symphony)
(2) first time in NEW YORK CITY visiting Mel
(3) first time watching a Broadway show ("How to succeed in Business without really trying" with Daniel Radcliffe)
(4) first time seeing one of Franz Marc's painting in person (Kandinsky was there, too)
(5) first time visiting Canada (during a conference in Vancouver)
(6) first time at a Clueso concert...damn, that man is amazing!
(7) first time spending the night at my sister Anita's apartment (little things count..like seeing your little sis all grown up!)
(8) first time giving a eulogy at a memorial service
(9) first time taking private voice lessons (Nancy Walker: best thing since sliced bread)
The day of firsts: Saturday, October 22:
(10) first time in Tennessee
(11) first time horseback riding (and in the Smokey Mountains National Forest at that!)
(12) first time riding a sky lift (Gatlinburg)
(13) first time having old-timey glamor-shots made
And it continued...
(14) first time teaching someone how to drive a stick-shift...SUCCESS!! (and so much fun)
(15) first time trying a gimlet and a mojito (I feel like I could just be sampling new mixed drinks for the rest of time, but that would be cheating.)
There'll definitely be more firsts to come in 2012. Can't wait to see what the year has in store for me!
(1) first time singing my beloved Mendelssohn with a symphony orchestra (Midsummer Night's Dream with the Winston-Salem Symphony)
(2) first time in NEW YORK CITY visiting Mel
(3) first time watching a Broadway show ("How to succeed in Business without really trying" with Daniel Radcliffe)
(4) first time seeing one of Franz Marc's painting in person (Kandinsky was there, too)
(5) first time visiting Canada (during a conference in Vancouver)
(6) first time at a Clueso concert...damn, that man is amazing!
(7) first time spending the night at my sister Anita's apartment (little things count..like seeing your little sis all grown up!)
(8) first time giving a eulogy at a memorial service
(9) first time taking private voice lessons (Nancy Walker: best thing since sliced bread)
The day of firsts: Saturday, October 22:
(10) first time in Tennessee
(11) first time horseback riding (and in the Smokey Mountains National Forest at that!)
(12) first time riding a sky lift (Gatlinburg)
(13) first time having old-timey glamor-shots made
And it continued...
(14) first time teaching someone how to drive a stick-shift...SUCCESS!! (and so much fun)
(15) first time trying a gimlet and a mojito (I feel like I could just be sampling new mixed drinks for the rest of time, but that would be cheating.)
There'll definitely be more firsts to come in 2012. Can't wait to see what the year has in store for me!
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